Things that remind me....

Things that I experience in nature remind me that God is not always noticeable in every aspect of where I am or what I am doing or always in the same way. But I know that God is always there.  Every time I walk in the woods, I want to see something amazing and usually do (99.9% of the time), all I need to do is look around.  But butterflies don't appear on command!  I wish that they did! Today wasn't my usual grateful butterfly encounter since some odd feelings came unexpectedly again!  When I do see butterflies it is often a fleeting glimpse of color or movement from the corner of my eye that causes me to take notice.  But today and sometimes the call of a hawk draws your eyes upward and the dance begins as I twirled around and around watching it's flight.  I also have had a fascination with hawks and this morning was no exception, I heard it's cries.  My eyes focused on the very large flying bird above my head and at first my expectation were confused since the bird that I spotted was a buzzard!  But my eyes were carried even higher and the cries of the hawk rang clear as I watched it circle and circle above my head and soar at such great heights, far beyond the buzzard!  It carried a very powerful message!  Somewhere along the way, the hawk somehow became a strong meaningful symbol of God to me.  So, each encounter is special and  makes me feel like I have received a gift. 
I continued to focus on this hawks flight and screeching cries, my eyes watered as the morning light seeped through the tree tops, not yet covered in leaves.  The flutter and dance of two butterflies caught my attention and I immediately recognized the two companions busy in their courting as "Mourning Cloaks".  Now my second recognizable encounter with the species since March 17.  It immediately gave me a weird feeling of loss and sadness, a feeling that I could not understand.  One of the two butterflies came down and flew from the top of the trees directly across my path and about ten feet above my head. Then I lost sight of it.  It reminded me of how fleeting our time is here on earth.  It reminded me of my aging parents and in-laws and those that have already passed away.  And as we all do I had been recently upset over a tiff with our daughter.  I like peace and calm so any upheaval shatters my core.  Even the tiny things. Relationships! 
 So, butterflies move me too! I pondered on this sighting and why I felt so moved.  As I exited the connecting trail back to the main fire trail I followed our dog and she had forgotten that we had driven out deeper in the woods and parked our car at the head of the fire trail.  We had not walked from our home this day but she started back toward home.   I was so shaken that I too began to exit toward home.  But we had a ways to go in the opposite direction! I quickly recovered and said, "come on girl we need to go back this way and get the car!"  As we topped the small incline a flash of bright reddish-orange darted passed my right side.  It was another butterfly!  It was a butterfly called a "Question Mark"!  Oh my!  My weird feelings turned to a feeling of concern. I knew that our daughter and her precious little family were traveling this day and I felt the need for immediate intercessory prayer.  I was still in the mist of my 40 day Lenton journey so possibly I was reading more into my feelings and emotions but I truly felt that the Holy Spirit was intervening.  So I prayed for their safety.  Short of heaven I may never know the answer to that question or feeling. They returned home safe and sound thankfully!
 Maybe it was the buzzard and the name of those butterflies the "Mourning Cloak" and then I looked up the name of the orange butterfly..."Question Mark"! They are also butterflies that hibernate.  And when their wings are closed the appear as a dead leaf. A picture of a Question Mark at this link: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a5/Question_Mark_Polygonia_interrogationis_Wings_3008px.jpg&imgrefurl=http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Question_Mark_Polygonia_interrogationis_Wings_3008px.jpg&h=2000&w=3008&sz=2360&tbnid=lqdatLDiTkYztM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=145&zoom=1&usg=__qgGHycL760_xloahE7YAIeDGjwY=&docid=AFwiDAtXvdCV1M&sa=X&ei=AtvDUYq3N4ic9QTzmYGAAQ&ved=0CEQQ9QEwBg&dur=5841.  I wasn't fast enough to get a clear photo of it's wings open. 
The stirrings of the heart make their invisible presence known.  These moments stick with me and are a reminder of the essence and presence of the Divine.  So, I ask God of all creation to please keep me acutely aware each day of his presence in all things.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities~his eternal power and divine nature~have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made....Romans 1:20 (NIV)




You can barely see this Mourning Cloak  butterfly because they were so high in the tree tops.  I'm amazed that I saw them.   



Carly stayed busy looking for water critters while I photographed butterflies and such!

I circled the butterfly to show you where it is!  See how it looks like a dead leaf but when opened up it is magnificent and orange!  Amazing how camouflaged it can become.

The Legend of the Butterfly

I had not thought much about the fact that it was Saint Patrick’s Day, March 17.  It was too close to Easter this year for me to give it a second thought.  All I could really think about was how I always long for warmer weather and today was no exception!  It wasn’t actually too bad after earlier in the week lows dipped down into the mid-20’s.   By most accounts mid-50’s to start the morning is a great sign here on the mountain.   

Today my mind was saturated with frustration, confusion, sadness, need for change and living the change.  I was working on my attitude in a very intense prayerful way and asking God for his guidance.  I felt that my emotions were getting the best of me.  A move that results in weeks of separation from my husband, adult children, grandchildren and friends is taking its toll, relationship issues, life style acceptance and changes.   I was praying for guidance and knowing that I have gifts, talents and purpose,  I asked that God reveal to me the ways that I can use those talents.  My mind reflected for a moment to my brother-in-law, Paul, an artist too, who I have felt died from broken dreams that were for a moment echoing in me.  I felt overcome with sadness from what I call “Life CYCLES” and relationship stumbling blocks.  Thankfully I was in search of preventive medicine though Jesus before self-destructing!  And I was begging for the help of my almighty father right then!  It always makes perfect sense to me to turn to God when something goes wrong.   I always wonder why I drift and have to nearly be knocked down before I realize that, that isn’t what I have been doing.  At that very moment I committed it to God.   I thought that I needed to ask God to change me and help me figure out how to use my gifts and talents again in a way that glorifies Him.  It’s March 17, 2013, a pretty chilly day, I’m deeply in a prayerful state as I depart from the wooded trail, the sun is trying to shine and at the very moment that I thought of my brother-in-law, Paul, who was a very talented artist, a butterfly flew over my head.   I first spotted the shadow and quickly looked up as it could have nearly parted my hair down the middle of my head.  Wait a minute….was I seeing things?   I rarely go out without my camera and in a bit of shock that I would first of all have spotted my first butterfly sighting so early in spring, when it was still so cool out, was reason enough to take a picture.  I needed it just to prove that I wasn’t totally crazy!  It seemed to be a message from God.   And in a moment I understood part of my message.  I was to take 40 days to look to God for instruction.   Was I to take a “Lenten journey”?   It came in loud and clear.  I needed edifying!  I was to look into the face of God and focus on what he wanted me to do.  I was to be in intense prayer and to spend most of my time alone, away from my family with limited contact with others for this period.  At first I thought okay, is that really what God is asking of me?

 This sighting was bizarre enough for many reasons and the idea of being away from my family during Easter made it get more bizarre for me.    But it felt like it was from God.   So, I sent out a text that evening to my family explaining that I felt God was calling me to this 40 day spiritual process.   And so it began.

Back to the butterfly!  Did it have a meaning and where did it coming from?  After all, it had been very cold to me over the last few days.  And this poor butterfly looked pitiful and tattered.  Not the butterfly that one would expect from a freshly emerged cocoon or chrysalises!  It caused my curious mind to wonder.  But it most certainly reminded me first of all about Jesus and the miracle of his resurrection.  Was it an Easter message?  Then it reminded me of the art that I had created in 2011 pictured above.  More information and sharing to follow in the coming days:

Dreams Can Come True

I think that dreams can come true especially in the garden and in art. What better place to be on your hands and knees and be close to our creator? Being in my own garden or seeing and visiting other gardens while traveling inspires me to dream about making beautiful places, spaces and to create art. For those of us that have been fortunate enough to grow up with many of our days spent outdoors, rainy days reading books like” The Tale of Peter Rabbit”, “The Chronicles of Narnia”, a visit to the movie theater to see a Disney movie or better yet to experience a visit to a Disney theme park are great sources of inspiration! I think that I was inspired by these experiences as a child and my grown-up dreams and desires are deeply rooted in those stories, experiences and visions of those days gone by.  And the creations that come to my mind from experiences can be both a blessing and a curse; however, I am always in search of a blessing!  And they are all around each of us.  And I'm always ready for spring or warmer places!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snow Feathers

For several mornings as I began my days in this new place of winter’s bitter cold, some admitted frustration and agitation built up inside of me.  I am not a big fan of cold weather, I like nature, beauty and I like being outdoors.  Anyone that knows me knows this to be true.   I was and still am having a very hard time finding beauty and my happy place in this new town but I keep thinking about how I have written and spoken that beauty can be found anywhere if you just look hard enough.  Did I really say that and mean it?  Did I mean that hypothetically?  I had thought about that comment many times as I questioned my ability to see beauty and be internally happy despite my external conditions.  So, I thought some more…I don’t think that beauty has to be seen in order to feel happy; however, I believe that there has to be an ability to find it through your senses.  It is a sort of essence in our being, the ability to see, touch, feel and experience beauty, resulting in happiness.  I feel that it comes from within us and what we are capable of recognizing and able to enjoy given our surroundings too.  It is both seen and unseen like, the sweet expression on someone’s face, a little child’s hand or an elderly person, any person reaching out for your touch, the wind brushing your face or the visual of a sunrise, flower or snow covered earth, the sound of laughter or scent of something that carries you away and the knowledge that God loves you!   Whether you are with someone or not, in a place filled with people or all alone, I believe that we have to see beauty with our senses to be happy so then I ask myself; could I be happy if I could not see, touch, hear or smell?  If I could only feel with my heart so to speak, would that be enough?   I’m still a work in progress on that thought even though I do believe that is what I should be able to do.  I have been so spoiled to live in such an amazingly beautiful place, Sewanee, Tennessee with all of my senses intact.  Beauty abounds here.  And I feel that I have been blessed all of my life to be surrounded by beauty (beautiful places, beautiful people a sort of sensory overload) resulting in a happy feeling.  And in my moment of supposed “anguish” (not really),  call me crazy but in an instant God revealed these amazing “snow feathers” as I call them and like a child that had just discovered something new I was all excited, intrigued and in awe of these wonderfully complex formations.  I said, thank you God, for such a discovery in this moment of “I hate this place, there is nowhere to walk and nothing to see” feeling that was permeating my every thought.   Beauty enters your heart and mind through your senses and as I see God’s marvelous workmanship I am reminded that, “For since the creation of the world God’s INVISIBLE qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made” Romans 1:20  I cannot explain a unique, amazing or beautiful event without God.  No matter where I look I see God’s hand or footprints.  Simply looking around us is not enough though.  But God sure reminded me of His beauty and instilled in me a moment of happiness as I captured a few novice photo shots that do not do justice to His fast melting creations.  And in that moment I felt that the “snow feathers” were there that morning just for me to see and appreciate and be reminded of his presence! I just wanted to share these “snow feathers” with others while God reminds me that spring is just around the corner when I can be outdoors more and get my hands in the dirt and plant some flowers!

Christmastime, Holly berries and Pinecones

 

Tis the season for beauty, blessings and peace on earth.  And this is certainly a time to celebrate what God reveals to us. As the weather gets colder my attention turns indoors. And I am constantly reminded of the great peace that I get from being outdoors! I feel blessed to be outdoors often wherever I am and it gives me great satisfaction, in addition I feel close to God. Here in Tennessee we have some decently comfortable days even in December.  So getting outside is still a daily adventure usually.  I'm a gatherer so when I am outdoors I enjoy finding things that I can use to decorate for the holidays inside.  We have holly growing wild in the woods and it is so pretty with it's red berries.  Due to the many pine trees behind our home I have collected an abundance of pinecones too. This brings to mind the ultimate patience of my husband on my first train ride ever from New York City to Rehoboth Beach, Delaware many moons ago. We had flown from Tennessee to New York City and taken a train to Rehoboth to visit our friends. It was my first such excursion. Somewhere along the way I had found and collected a bunch of pinecones. As we got ready to leave my husband asked me what I had planned to do with them and where did I plan to put them on the way home? I said that I would get a bag and in his rushed state he said, “nah, I'll just put them in the bottom of the cardboard hang up bag cover that the airline put our hang up bag in”. I looked perplexed I'm sure! We were fresh out of college and his college antics were still in his blood, so he grabbed the pinecone and his dirty clothes and dumped them all mixed up in the bottom of the carton. The train was a bit late and we had to lug things around at the station, it was hot and crowded and when the train got there I was a bit startled at the mad dash to board. See, I was a young polite Southern girl that was not use to the hustle and bustle. So, I politely waited and we were some of the last to board because, I let everyone in front of me/us! As we paraded down the aisle with all of our STUFF in tow, on the now mobile train, I noticed that I was alone...when a looked back my husband had stopped.  Immediately I realized what had happened, the bottom of his cardboard carton carrying a plethora of pinecone mixed with his dirty clothes, (“undies”, some still wet from beach basketball games and swimming) all were strung out about 20 feet behind him and some very attractive young women had alerted him of his mishap followed by loud giggles. He seemed only slightly flustered and later we laughed but at that moment he probably wanted to RING my neck! I still have most of those pinecones stored away with Christmas decor after 33 years together!

Christmastime in the past has often been a time of emotional stress and at times been downright depressing. Admittedly it was my own emotional climate. I use to get agitated, nervous, frantic and overly frustrated with my unrealistic need for everything to be "perfect", that it made it hard to enjoy CHRISTmastime! So needless to say becoming more peaceful has not happen overnight! I have made a choice not only at Christmastime but throughout the year to be more peaceful; less stressed and enjoy life. This Christmas I didn't do as much decorating.  Instead of 4000 or more clear lights on our artificial tree we got a live tree for the second time in over twenty years. I may have put over 1000 but at least it was an improvement to the three or four days that it took to erect the 12 foot spectacle of visions in my head with all of those lights.  And that's just talking about the tree! Never mind the garland down the stairs and fireplaces and the list goes on. This year things had to change even more. My husband had taken a new job and he had travel nine out of the last ten weeks. And we had to be in Beckley, West Virginia for the official takeover of the new University of Charleston, Beckley campus.  And we laughed that those pinecone had to go too dadgumit!

 

                                    

Chester A Mississippi Fox Approximately 40 Years Later

     With my current fox sightings I asked my cousin about two kit foxes that she and I had spotted many years ago while horseback riding (we were very young…), it has stirred my memory bank so, last night I asked her about an old article written around 1972.  My cousin sent me the article and two old pictures yesterday.  The old memory bank was stirred, we were riding back along the edge of the woods on our family’s property in Gulfport, Mississippi and we spotted these two young foxes. We told her older brother, my cousin, Carl Jr., about our encounter.  Being an avid young hunter and familiar with the woods, he was excited to check these out.  He found them and discovered over the course of observing them for a while that they were alone.  The mother was not returning to the den.  A highway bordered the property so possibly she had been injured or killed however; we do not know her fate.  What I recall is that he safely trapped the two and my cousins and I enjoyed playing and watching their development.  

     My family was living in Tennessee and I only recall weeklong visits and brief time on the gulf coast with the fox during the 1970’s.  See the two foxes were allowed to remain free and something unfortunate happened to the little female.  The only survivor was “Chester”, as he was promptly named and adored by all.  He and my kitten, an orange tabby, became best of buddies and enjoyed countless hours romping and playing “King of the Sand Hill”, a vision that I will always enjoy!  As children, we thought that was the funniest thing to watch them run, tackle and roll around.  That caused lots of giggles and laughter galore among all of us cousins; and there were a bunch of us!   My kitten, “Captain” and the fox, “Chester”, had what looked like the best time ever!  I believe that everyone enjoyed having Chester around, there was even an article written in the Sun Herald Times about him.  He would greet visitors with a funny noise while they were still in their car according to my aunt and then retreat back into the woods.  

     Chester grew to adulthood, wore a little bell around his neck to alert others of his arrival and one day a stray female German shepherd, started coming around.  Shortly after that Chester ran off with her and was never seen on a routine bases or with certainty of identification after that.  However, the offspring of Chester may be the current visitors that most recently come fairly routinely to visit and play with my Aunt Mary Ann's dog, Cassey, who lives on the old home place now.  We hope that Chester lived happily ever after and we sure enjoyed him for a time.

Sewanee's Little Red Fox

I had run head on into a fox early in the summer at the lake behind our home but I didn't get a good photograph then. It was frightened and moved very quickly. This evening this young little fox was alarmingly calm to have me so close. My radar was on high alert for fear of something not being exactly right but I was equally excited to get some shots. In my excitement and haste to photograph this little red fox I dropped my glasses in the car (the story of my life! Ugh...) and could not see my camera setting. So, these were the best that I could do under the circumstances. I ran into this little fox again as I headed home around 10:00 PM. I am hopeful that we will have another safe encounter where I will get some clearer shots!