"Coko", an Untimely Death, a Purpose in Living and Dying

Today, Jerry, (my husband/regional president of UC Beckley and Martinsburg) two of our University of Charleston staff members, Lisa, Mary and I headed to the Bluefield /Princeton, WV area for the funeral of one of our students, Sheila “Coko” Hopkins. It is difficult for me to put into words the experience that I/we had today. My husband was one of a half a dozen speakers and repeatedly those that spoke about and described “CoKo”, used similar adjectives, some of the same ones that I too had used. The untimely death of “Coko” brought forth the opportunity to minister and witness to a very large crowd of people and many of those were young people. It became evident to me and many others that an unveiling was about to occur and we were about to experience a funeral service, the likes of which Jerry and I had never experienced nor had many of the others in attendance either. The church was packed and sounds of sadness and an occasional whimpers began to trickle into the church. Then emotions rang out like thunder with cries, moaning and wails of grief and saddness that could be heard before the very large family entered the church. I turned to Jerry, (eyes wide open) we both looked a bit mystified into one another’s eyes, the depth of pain we can only imagine. I softly uttered, “I believe that we are getting ready to experience a funeral like we have never experienced before” and that we did! It was evident to me that we were in the midst of the very regionally and culturally different experience as well as, a much stressed family dynamic paired with one of the most difficult events that anyone can endure, the death of a child. For me and my short relationship in knowing “Coko” it was about what “Coko” did not say. It was the look in her eyes when spoken to. And the enduring smile that exposed those beautiful white teeth and it pierced your very soul. One description after another, individuals spoke of her very distinct character trait and most memorable reaction, her smile. It was a slight tilt of her head, sometimes a removal of her hoodie (a type of garment that she always seemed to be wearing) a twinkle in her eyes and the sweetest smile that one could deliver. Pictures at that alter where her body lay in rest were collaged, evidence of years filled with that sweet smile. And the assemblage of those in attendance form a sort of collage for me and what “Coko’s” life and purpose was all about. For in that short time I wondered over the last few days, why? What did taking her now and so young fulfill? She will always be remembered and her stamp will be on many of us. But it became clear to me and the answer to my question came today. Her life was a living and dying testimony. She like all of us had struggles and had trials in this life. Her mother raised her without her father’s presence. But her mother made sure that her daughter knew her father, both her paternal father and her heavenly father. “Coko” was about one when her father was found guilty of a crime that landed him in prison until resent times. I do not know the full details of the situation but I can tell you that “Coko” was loved dearly by her mother and that was expressed by her father too. “Coko” loved both of her parents very much and longed to have a relationship with her father, one that she missed growing up. What time she had experience with her father was the many visits to the prison that her momma made sure to make happen. The pain that we experienced today had to be filled with guilt and past mistakes that one makes. One has many questions and very few answers…”Oh God”, he groaned and shouted loudly many, many times, his body becoming limp and in need of assistance to be carried. It is not our place to judge and I am surly not worthy of that either, no one but God has that right. Today was about mending relationships and a church filled with love and forgiveness. And after all the sharing and messages the final words came and the pastor, one of “Coko’s” uncles, felt moved and lead to do an altar call at the end of the service. Those of you that have experienced one of these evangelical events know what I am talking about. And this was one like I have never experience, though I am from an originally evangelical background of Southern Baptist. I married a Catholic and we became Presbyterian. And I am comfortable with an alter call and have often been concerned that we do not often invite others to know Christ in a more direct way even in our church environment. And many churches across the United States are struggling with low attendances. Many people do not go to church so our opportunities to witness have to come with experiences and relationships in our daily lives. I hope that my life is a testimony to others and that others can see Christ working through me. The burden falls on us who are Christians, to help introduce those that we meet that do not know Jesus Christ as their Lord and savior. So, my answer about why was “Coko” taken so young and for what purpose did her life serve both in living and in death was answered, she brought many to know Christ. On this day an alter call was given at “Coko’s” funeral, a veil was lifted while the funeral was widely attended by many people and many of those were young. It might have been the only opportunity or the right time for many of those to hear the message of God’s gift of grace and eternal life through Jesus Christ. I do not know the exact number but one came down. then another, then a steady flow of people, the alter was full maybe sixty or more. And if even one attains eternal life through the decision they made today at “Coko’s” funeral, then “Coko’s” purpose was more important than she or anyone but God could have imagined. For selfish reasons I wish that she was still with us but I know that I will see her again. John 3:16-17 English Standard Version (ESV) For God So Loved the World 16 “For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him. I’ve always said that the risk it too great not to believe. What can you lose by accepting the most important gift and reason for living, eternal life through God’s grace. He sent is son Jesus, He paid the ultimate price for each of us, no questions asked, all we need to do is accept that we are sinners and believe that Jesus is our Lord and savior. Jesus wiped the slate clean for each of us if we believe in him. He is the bridge between us and God. And if I have it all wrong and I do not believe that I do. Then what did I lose? Nothing! But I will have the opportunity to gain everything! And I have no fear in dying, for in death there is life everlasting.

The Legend of the Butterfly

I had not thought much about the fact that it was Saint Patrick’s Day, March 17.  It was too close to Easter this year for me to give it a second thought.  All I could really think about was how I always long for warmer weather and today was no exception!  It wasn’t actually too bad after earlier in the week lows dipped down into the mid-20’s.   By most accounts mid-50’s to start the morning is a great sign here on the mountain.   

Today my mind was saturated with frustration, confusion, sadness, need for change and living the change.  I was working on my attitude in a very intense prayerful way and asking God for his guidance.  I felt that my emotions were getting the best of me.  A move that results in weeks of separation from my husband, adult children, grandchildren and friends is taking its toll, relationship issues, life style acceptance and changes.   I was praying for guidance and knowing that I have gifts, talents and purpose,  I asked that God reveal to me the ways that I can use those talents.  My mind reflected for a moment to my brother-in-law, Paul, an artist too, who I have felt died from broken dreams that were for a moment echoing in me.  I felt overcome with sadness from what I call “Life CYCLES” and relationship stumbling blocks.  Thankfully I was in search of preventive medicine though Jesus before self-destructing!  And I was begging for the help of my almighty father right then!  It always makes perfect sense to me to turn to God when something goes wrong.   I always wonder why I drift and have to nearly be knocked down before I realize that, that isn’t what I have been doing.  At that very moment I committed it to God.   I thought that I needed to ask God to change me and help me figure out how to use my gifts and talents again in a way that glorifies Him.  It’s March 17, 2013, a pretty chilly day, I’m deeply in a prayerful state as I depart from the wooded trail, the sun is trying to shine and at the very moment that I thought of my brother-in-law, Paul, who was a very talented artist, a butterfly flew over my head.   I first spotted the shadow and quickly looked up as it could have nearly parted my hair down the middle of my head.  Wait a minute….was I seeing things?   I rarely go out without my camera and in a bit of shock that I would first of all have spotted my first butterfly sighting so early in spring, when it was still so cool out, was reason enough to take a picture.  I needed it just to prove that I wasn’t totally crazy!  It seemed to be a message from God.   And in a moment I understood part of my message.  I was to take 40 days to look to God for instruction.   Was I to take a “Lenten journey”?   It came in loud and clear.  I needed edifying!  I was to look into the face of God and focus on what he wanted me to do.  I was to be in intense prayer and to spend most of my time alone, away from my family with limited contact with others for this period.  At first I thought okay, is that really what God is asking of me?

 This sighting was bizarre enough for many reasons and the idea of being away from my family during Easter made it get more bizarre for me.    But it felt like it was from God.   So, I sent out a text that evening to my family explaining that I felt God was calling me to this 40 day spiritual process.   And so it began.

Back to the butterfly!  Did it have a meaning and where did it coming from?  After all, it had been very cold to me over the last few days.  And this poor butterfly looked pitiful and tattered.  Not the butterfly that one would expect from a freshly emerged cocoon or chrysalises!  It caused my curious mind to wonder.  But it most certainly reminded me first of all about Jesus and the miracle of his resurrection.  Was it an Easter message?  Then it reminded me of the art that I had created in 2011 pictured above.  More information and sharing to follow in the coming days: