I had not thought much about the fact that it was Saint Patrick’s
Day, March 17. It was too close to Easter
this year for me to give it a second thought. All I could really think about was how I
always long for warmer weather and today was no exception! It wasn’t actually too bad after earlier in
the week lows dipped down into the mid-20’s.
By most accounts mid-50’s to start the morning is a great sign here on the
mountain.
Today my mind was saturated with frustration, confusion,
sadness, need for change and living the change.
I was working on my attitude in a very intense prayerful way and asking
God for his guidance. I felt that my
emotions were getting the best of me. A
move that results in weeks of separation from my husband, adult children,
grandchildren and friends is taking its toll, relationship issues, life style acceptance
and changes. I was praying for guidance and knowing that I
have gifts, talents and purpose, I asked
that God reveal to me the ways that I can use those talents. My mind reflected for a moment to my
brother-in-law, Paul, an artist too, who I have felt died from broken dreams that were for a
moment echoing in me. I felt overcome
with sadness from what I call “Life CYCLES” and relationship stumbling blocks. Thankfully I was in search of preventive
medicine though Jesus before self-destructing! And I was begging for the help of
my almighty father right then! It always
makes perfect sense to me to turn to God when something goes wrong. I always wonder why I drift and have to
nearly be knocked down before I realize that, that isn’t what I have been
doing. At that very moment I committed
it to God. I thought that I needed to
ask God to change me and help me figure out how to use my gifts and talents
again in a way that glorifies Him. It’s
March 17, 2013, a pretty chilly day, I’m deeply in a prayerful state as I depart
from the wooded trail, the sun is trying to shine and at the very moment that I
thought of my brother-in-law, Paul, who was a very talented artist, a butterfly
flew over my head. I first spotted the shadow and quickly looked
up as it could have nearly parted my hair down the middle of my head. Wait a minute….was I seeing things? I
rarely go out without my camera and in a bit of shock that I would first of all
have spotted my first butterfly sighting so early in spring, when it was still
so cool out, was reason enough to take a picture. I needed it just to prove that I wasn’t
totally crazy! It seemed to be a message
from God. And in a moment I understood
part of my message. I was to take 40
days to look to God for instruction.
Was I to take a “Lenten journey”? It came in loud and clear. I needed edifying! I was to look into the face of God and focus
on what he wanted me to do. I was to be
in intense prayer and to spend most of my time alone, away from my family with
limited contact with others for this period.
At first I thought okay, is that really what God is asking of me?
This sighting was bizarre
enough for many reasons and the idea of being away from my family during Easter
made it get more bizarre for me. But it
felt like it was from God. So, I sent out a text that evening to my
family explaining that I felt God was calling me to this 40 day spiritual
process. And so it began.
Back to the butterfly!
Did it have a meaning and where did it coming from? After all, it had been very cold to me over
the last few days. And this poor
butterfly looked pitiful and tattered.
Not the butterfly that one would expect from a freshly emerged cocoon or
chrysalises! It caused my curious mind
to wonder. But it most certainly
reminded me first of all about Jesus and the miracle of his resurrection. Was it an Easter message? Then it reminded me of the art that I had
created in 2011 pictured above. More information
and sharing to follow in the coming days:
