Things that remind me....

Things that I experience in nature remind me that God is not always noticeable in every aspect of where I am or what I am doing or always in the same way. But I know that God is always there.  Every time I walk in the woods, I want to see something amazing and usually do (99.9% of the time), all I need to do is look around.  But butterflies don't appear on command!  I wish that they did! Today wasn't my usual grateful butterfly encounter since some odd feelings came unexpectedly again!  When I do see butterflies it is often a fleeting glimpse of color or movement from the corner of my eye that causes me to take notice.  But today and sometimes the call of a hawk draws your eyes upward and the dance begins as I twirled around and around watching it's flight.  I also have had a fascination with hawks and this morning was no exception, I heard it's cries.  My eyes focused on the very large flying bird above my head and at first my expectation were confused since the bird that I spotted was a buzzard!  But my eyes were carried even higher and the cries of the hawk rang clear as I watched it circle and circle above my head and soar at such great heights, far beyond the buzzard!  It carried a very powerful message!  Somewhere along the way, the hawk somehow became a strong meaningful symbol of God to me.  So, each encounter is special and  makes me feel like I have received a gift. 
I continued to focus on this hawks flight and screeching cries, my eyes watered as the morning light seeped through the tree tops, not yet covered in leaves.  The flutter and dance of two butterflies caught my attention and I immediately recognized the two companions busy in their courting as "Mourning Cloaks".  Now my second recognizable encounter with the species since March 17.  It immediately gave me a weird feeling of loss and sadness, a feeling that I could not understand.  One of the two butterflies came down and flew from the top of the trees directly across my path and about ten feet above my head. Then I lost sight of it.  It reminded me of how fleeting our time is here on earth.  It reminded me of my aging parents and in-laws and those that have already passed away.  And as we all do I had been recently upset over a tiff with our daughter.  I like peace and calm so any upheaval shatters my core.  Even the tiny things. Relationships! 
 So, butterflies move me too! I pondered on this sighting and why I felt so moved.  As I exited the connecting trail back to the main fire trail I followed our dog and she had forgotten that we had driven out deeper in the woods and parked our car at the head of the fire trail.  We had not walked from our home this day but she started back toward home.   I was so shaken that I too began to exit toward home.  But we had a ways to go in the opposite direction! I quickly recovered and said, "come on girl we need to go back this way and get the car!"  As we topped the small incline a flash of bright reddish-orange darted passed my right side.  It was another butterfly!  It was a butterfly called a "Question Mark"!  Oh my!  My weird feelings turned to a feeling of concern. I knew that our daughter and her precious little family were traveling this day and I felt the need for immediate intercessory prayer.  I was still in the mist of my 40 day Lenton journey so possibly I was reading more into my feelings and emotions but I truly felt that the Holy Spirit was intervening.  So I prayed for their safety.  Short of heaven I may never know the answer to that question or feeling. They returned home safe and sound thankfully!
 Maybe it was the buzzard and the name of those butterflies the "Mourning Cloak" and then I looked up the name of the orange butterfly..."Question Mark"! They are also butterflies that hibernate.  And when their wings are closed the appear as a dead leaf. A picture of a Question Mark at this link: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/a/a5/Question_Mark_Polygonia_interrogationis_Wings_3008px.jpg&imgrefurl=http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Question_Mark_Polygonia_interrogationis_Wings_3008px.jpg&h=2000&w=3008&sz=2360&tbnid=lqdatLDiTkYztM:&tbnh=96&tbnw=145&zoom=1&usg=__qgGHycL760_xloahE7YAIeDGjwY=&docid=AFwiDAtXvdCV1M&sa=X&ei=AtvDUYq3N4ic9QTzmYGAAQ&ved=0CEQQ9QEwBg&dur=5841.  I wasn't fast enough to get a clear photo of it's wings open. 
The stirrings of the heart make their invisible presence known.  These moments stick with me and are a reminder of the essence and presence of the Divine.  So, I ask God of all creation to please keep me acutely aware each day of his presence in all things.

For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities~his eternal power and divine nature~have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made....Romans 1:20 (NIV)




You can barely see this Mourning Cloak  butterfly because they were so high in the tree tops.  I'm amazed that I saw them.   



Carly stayed busy looking for water critters while I photographed butterflies and such!

I circled the butterfly to show you where it is!  See how it looks like a dead leaf but when opened up it is magnificent and orange!  Amazing how camouflaged it can become.

The Legend of the Butterfly

I had not thought much about the fact that it was Saint Patrick’s Day, March 17.  It was too close to Easter this year for me to give it a second thought.  All I could really think about was how I always long for warmer weather and today was no exception!  It wasn’t actually too bad after earlier in the week lows dipped down into the mid-20’s.   By most accounts mid-50’s to start the morning is a great sign here on the mountain.   

Today my mind was saturated with frustration, confusion, sadness, need for change and living the change.  I was working on my attitude in a very intense prayerful way and asking God for his guidance.  I felt that my emotions were getting the best of me.  A move that results in weeks of separation from my husband, adult children, grandchildren and friends is taking its toll, relationship issues, life style acceptance and changes.   I was praying for guidance and knowing that I have gifts, talents and purpose,  I asked that God reveal to me the ways that I can use those talents.  My mind reflected for a moment to my brother-in-law, Paul, an artist too, who I have felt died from broken dreams that were for a moment echoing in me.  I felt overcome with sadness from what I call “Life CYCLES” and relationship stumbling blocks.  Thankfully I was in search of preventive medicine though Jesus before self-destructing!  And I was begging for the help of my almighty father right then!  It always makes perfect sense to me to turn to God when something goes wrong.   I always wonder why I drift and have to nearly be knocked down before I realize that, that isn’t what I have been doing.  At that very moment I committed it to God.   I thought that I needed to ask God to change me and help me figure out how to use my gifts and talents again in a way that glorifies Him.  It’s March 17, 2013, a pretty chilly day, I’m deeply in a prayerful state as I depart from the wooded trail, the sun is trying to shine and at the very moment that I thought of my brother-in-law, Paul, who was a very talented artist, a butterfly flew over my head.   I first spotted the shadow and quickly looked up as it could have nearly parted my hair down the middle of my head.  Wait a minute….was I seeing things?   I rarely go out without my camera and in a bit of shock that I would first of all have spotted my first butterfly sighting so early in spring, when it was still so cool out, was reason enough to take a picture.  I needed it just to prove that I wasn’t totally crazy!  It seemed to be a message from God.   And in a moment I understood part of my message.  I was to take 40 days to look to God for instruction.   Was I to take a “Lenten journey”?   It came in loud and clear.  I needed edifying!  I was to look into the face of God and focus on what he wanted me to do.  I was to be in intense prayer and to spend most of my time alone, away from my family with limited contact with others for this period.  At first I thought okay, is that really what God is asking of me?

 This sighting was bizarre enough for many reasons and the idea of being away from my family during Easter made it get more bizarre for me.    But it felt like it was from God.   So, I sent out a text that evening to my family explaining that I felt God was calling me to this 40 day spiritual process.   And so it began.

Back to the butterfly!  Did it have a meaning and where did it coming from?  After all, it had been very cold to me over the last few days.  And this poor butterfly looked pitiful and tattered.  Not the butterfly that one would expect from a freshly emerged cocoon or chrysalises!  It caused my curious mind to wonder.  But it most certainly reminded me first of all about Jesus and the miracle of his resurrection.  Was it an Easter message?  Then it reminded me of the art that I had created in 2011 pictured above.  More information and sharing to follow in the coming days:

Dreams Can Come True

I think that dreams can come true especially in the garden and in art. What better place to be on your hands and knees and be close to our creator? Being in my own garden or seeing and visiting other gardens while traveling inspires me to dream about making beautiful places, spaces and to create art. For those of us that have been fortunate enough to grow up with many of our days spent outdoors, rainy days reading books like” The Tale of Peter Rabbit”, “The Chronicles of Narnia”, a visit to the movie theater to see a Disney movie or better yet to experience a visit to a Disney theme park are great sources of inspiration! I think that I was inspired by these experiences as a child and my grown-up dreams and desires are deeply rooted in those stories, experiences and visions of those days gone by.  And the creations that come to my mind from experiences can be both a blessing and a curse; however, I am always in search of a blessing!  And they are all around each of us.  And I'm always ready for spring or warmer places!

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snow Feathers

For several mornings as I began my days in this new place of winter’s bitter cold, some admitted frustration and agitation built up inside of me.  I am not a big fan of cold weather, I like nature, beauty and I like being outdoors.  Anyone that knows me knows this to be true.   I was and still am having a very hard time finding beauty and my happy place in this new town but I keep thinking about how I have written and spoken that beauty can be found anywhere if you just look hard enough.  Did I really say that and mean it?  Did I mean that hypothetically?  I had thought about that comment many times as I questioned my ability to see beauty and be internally happy despite my external conditions.  So, I thought some more…I don’t think that beauty has to be seen in order to feel happy; however, I believe that there has to be an ability to find it through your senses.  It is a sort of essence in our being, the ability to see, touch, feel and experience beauty, resulting in happiness.  I feel that it comes from within us and what we are capable of recognizing and able to enjoy given our surroundings too.  It is both seen and unseen like, the sweet expression on someone’s face, a little child’s hand or an elderly person, any person reaching out for your touch, the wind brushing your face or the visual of a sunrise, flower or snow covered earth, the sound of laughter or scent of something that carries you away and the knowledge that God loves you!   Whether you are with someone or not, in a place filled with people or all alone, I believe that we have to see beauty with our senses to be happy so then I ask myself; could I be happy if I could not see, touch, hear or smell?  If I could only feel with my heart so to speak, would that be enough?   I’m still a work in progress on that thought even though I do believe that is what I should be able to do.  I have been so spoiled to live in such an amazingly beautiful place, Sewanee, Tennessee with all of my senses intact.  Beauty abounds here.  And I feel that I have been blessed all of my life to be surrounded by beauty (beautiful places, beautiful people a sort of sensory overload) resulting in a happy feeling.  And in my moment of supposed “anguish” (not really),  call me crazy but in an instant God revealed these amazing “snow feathers” as I call them and like a child that had just discovered something new I was all excited, intrigued and in awe of these wonderfully complex formations.  I said, thank you God, for such a discovery in this moment of “I hate this place, there is nowhere to walk and nothing to see” feeling that was permeating my every thought.   Beauty enters your heart and mind through your senses and as I see God’s marvelous workmanship I am reminded that, “For since the creation of the world God’s INVISIBLE qualities-his eternal power and divine nature-have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made” Romans 1:20  I cannot explain a unique, amazing or beautiful event without God.  No matter where I look I see God’s hand or footprints.  Simply looking around us is not enough though.  But God sure reminded me of His beauty and instilled in me a moment of happiness as I captured a few novice photo shots that do not do justice to His fast melting creations.  And in that moment I felt that the “snow feathers” were there that morning just for me to see and appreciate and be reminded of his presence! I just wanted to share these “snow feathers” with others while God reminds me that spring is just around the corner when I can be outdoors more and get my hands in the dirt and plant some flowers!